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On a train heading to Bangkok, 1:04am 25th July 2012
Today we arrived at Chiang Mai (清迈). Our day starts pretty early (7am) because there’s no point going back to hotel sleep when you’re on holiday.
The “public bus” commonly see in Chiang Mai. It’s like a mix between bus and taxi because it has no certain direction. Read more here (wikitravel)
After 16 hours of bus ride and sleepless night (read yesterday post here), our body is not in the best condition, physically and mentally. We demanded for great massage.
“坐到屁股都扁” is something I often says during classes in high school. This is the first time I actually “felt” the true meaning of this sentence.
When they say you’re fat ass, you go diet; when they say you have flat ass, you go massage.
First taste of Thai massage
I choose “Back and shoulder massage” and Shannon choose “Thai massage”. That’s 350baht (RM35) for both of us. Rating 7.5/10 for overall. We fell asleep like a baby during the session.
Massage is considered a “must” not a “need”.
I totally cried in pain when masseur hit the pain point on my ass. First time ever in massage, I surrendered in pain – which I usually just tahan.
“老板 给我 noodle soup with pork”, in Chinese.
Surprisingly there’s more Chinese in Thailand compared to Vietnam.
Not forgetting my daily dose of diarrhea pills. These pills are life saver. I am so glad Shannon brought these.
Walk walk see see
Bought some fruits from the market. Whole kilo of fruits (pineapple, mango and watermelon) only costs 50 baht (RM5).
Our fruits intake has been incredibly high in our trip. Price and colorful decoration definitely plays a big role here.
Alamak, nothing to do!
One of the fun thing being a “destination free” traveler is doing what we want and when we want. We walked past a coffee shop with great aroma and no words are spoken we straight walk in, order coffee and pulled out our iPad and Kindle to play Facebook. Hahha.
Also, we check what can we do la… what are the must-eat local food, etc.
Eating Khao Soi
I hope I spelled it correctly because I’m recalling from memory without double checking the internet. We walked farrrrr away from the city and tourist area and into an unknown district where even the road signs and restaurant name are in Thais.
This is the shit we want to eat! Local food!
According to the barista from coffee shop, this restaurant is his favourite and all the similar khao soi within the city is “crap”. We walked few KM to reach this place.
Manatau, it’s a laksa based noodle with lots of pickle vegetables and that’s it –_- meh
Hunt for FHM magazines
Still remember my old days at university, we often have access to “For Him Magazine” where the magazine contents are fun. This magazine often feature pretty babes with sexy pose but nothing really pornographic about it.
Who doesn’t like babes in bikini anyway?!
FHM are sold in different regions and my favourite region is Singapore. I also realised that Thailand has FHM but never had any chance to read it.
“WOHHH I MUST BUY FHM!! it will be a great souvenirs for friends” << after consuming the content myself first, of course!
Can’t find FHM at several book shops and was about to give up, then Shannon suggests “7-11 usually has these magazines, no?”.
And he is spot on. We found FHM in the first 7-11 we walked in.
One FHM is never enough so I bought 2 more, wheee!
Rest, catch up sleep
After covering few km of walking distance and hours of rain soaking, we head back to hotel for a quick rest.
Once again we sleep like baby.
We head out again at 6:30pm, to Chiang Mai’s famous night market, which is opened daily.
There are also different markets that sell different items. If I am not mistaken there’s this huge night bazaar market with 2 smaller markets which sells food and textiles which I don’t bother to remember the name. Hahaha.
It was raining when we visited the night market. The crowds are there and they say now is low-season… I wonder how does this market looks like during peak season.
McDonald and Starbucks
It’s been long time ago since we see McD and Starbucks. There were NO Western franchises at the countries we previously travelled. Decided to check what menu McD serves in Thailand.
Did you know, every McD in different country serves different menu?
Had a pork burger! Yummylicious!
Muay Thai and Girlie bar
Muay thai matches are held 3-4 nights every week, and each night hosts 8 fights. Entrance fee is 400baht/600baht. The muay thai stadium is only few streets away from the night market and we decided to pay it a visit.
The stadium is surrounded with lots of girlie bars, I mean… LOTS of it.
This is where the fun part of the day starts.
There are at least 3-4 girls sitting outside bar, inviting passerby customers for a drink at their bar.
This being our first time exploring such bars, so naturally we have slight butterflies in stomach – felt so excited.
This is the experience I’d like to experience more in my travel (the butterfly in stomach part, not the girlie bar part).
The lightings in these bars are usually dim and you cannot exactly see the looks of the girls. While I walked past one bar, one bar girl touches my hand, I immediately thought of the hand of my dad’s construction worker.
“THIS GUY IS A DUDE!” I told Shannon. His/her hand is rougher than mine. Hahahhahaha.
We walked past many girlie bars and our effort is mainly focused on differentiating the ladyboy and real woman, than focusing on looking the pretty girls. The progress overwhelmed our senses so we came up with a conclusion,
All the ladies in the bar, will bear “guilty until proven innocent”. Which means, all the ladies at bar will be categorized as LADYBOY until somehow proven she is, well, a SHE.
Skipped Muay Thai, Girlie bar is more fun
We didn’t watch Muay Thai matches – it’s more fun exploring all 20-30+ of these girlie bars
While we walked past many of these shops, many girls tried to pull us into their shop by touching our hands. OMG we feel so geli because hand-touching between men is forbidden. LOL.
We decided to go into one bar filled with ladyboys (how adventurous of us!). Truth to be told, we walked in because we heard Red Hot Chili Peppers songs, not because of the lady boys.
We ordered beer, and immediately we were accompanied with “ladies”. Yummeh!
Mine is a local normal lady and below-average looking (not fun); and Shannon gets the real lady boy (really fun!). Conversation goes like “where you from, how long you here, you like Thailand?” etc. Until, they asked…
“Where do you stay?”
Whoa, dangerous question man.
We have to act stupid and says we only recognise direction but not the street name. We are so afraid that they might show up at our hotel and fuck our asses in midnight.
Also, the ladyboy puts his/her hand around Shannon’s waist! OMG I laughed so hard because Shannon immediately become the “shy” one and the ladyboy plays the “boyfriend” role.
Her voice changes to deep tone while speaking to his colleagues. (Sorry I don’t know I should use him or her – the other girlies was confused when referring him/her too)
We walked past all the girlie bars 4 times that night, doing thorough survey, see which bar has the most amazing ladyboys (eh hem). The process was fun because of what we experienced and not a slight porno feeling involved.
“You want girls?”
We were offered “you want girls?” by a road side tuk tuk driver – the photos are clearly taken from magazine, lol! Who the hell would fall for that?
(Later we saw 2 Caucasion fell for it, LOLOLOL horny ang moh!)
Tired of walking, we decided to sit in a quiet bar in corner that seemed like bar girl is not part of their service.
“Finally, some place quiet to have beer! What an amazing experience” we told ourselves.
Still laughing at the part where Shannon was hugged by lady boy.
Meeting random travelers.
Learning Thai Language 101 (male)
- Sawadeekap – hello
- ra1 lang2 – cute
- 叉叉 – slowly
- 六六 – faster
- Din1 di3 – you’re welcome
- song2 – two (e.g. song2 beer means two beers)
- Bababobo – crazy (happens to be name of the pub we’re at)
- Bom3 la2 kun1 – I love you
- cubu cubu – kiss kiss
- 昆谁 – you’re pretty
- 卖随 – you’re NOT pretty
- 卖药ko pun krub – no thanks! (often used at tuk tuk and salesman)
- ko pun krub – thanks
- Indie cidai lujiak – nice to meet you (this is easiest to remember because it sounded so rude, along with word “cibai”)
We learned these from the bartender and you can pretty much guess the content of our conversation, lol. The bartender is a chatty mid-40 aunty.
After too much beer, we decided to have some street food for supper.
Oh, bars closes at 12midnight, although they only close the gates but you can continue drinking inside the bar until morning. We left at exactly midnight , we boys are getting hungry!
Once again I ordered noodle soup with pork.
Shannon’s pad thai.
Not enough supper, we ordered roasted pork with broccoli with rice to fill in the remaining space of our tummy.
Clubbing scenes in Chiang Mai
We asks for club recommendation from bar tender and were told of a few clubbing scenes that we must check out. She didn’t tell us the name of clubs but only pointed the direction so off we go!
“You won’t miss it” she says.
Spotlight A Go Go [18SX]
When we stepped in the entrance, all we see is butt-cheek shaking on poles (bar girl wears only g-strings and bikini).
“Whoa, their club has free dance show one ah?”, trying to figure out the situation… still intoxicated of course.
Then only we realised we are at wrong destination.
Due to the strange circumstances we’re in, I didn’t take any photos. Mostly distracted by so many woman asses. LOL.
In 27 years of my life, I never seen so many women’s bare-naked asses in front of me before.
“Ui nice o this place. I never seen so many women’s asses”, still mesmerised by the numbers of asses. (how many times have I mentioned asses?)
We asked around for the correct clubs instead because this is not what we are after.
The real clubbign scene we’re looking for
We’re finally at proper club.
Both of us wore slippers and walked into the club like a boss, wasn’t planning to come to these place in first place hence our weird outfit. We didn’t care much though because we’re tourist! Hehe.
Ordered beers, and were told a bottle of whiskey is 900 baht (RM90) and unlimited soft drinks.
Something is wrong when we are in the bar.
There are many pretty girls, but most of the guys are not dancing with the girls.
Guy are dancing with guys. /gasp!
I have a bad feeling when I came into this bar and I am right – this is yet another gay bar. Obviously the pretty ladies are their BFF (best friend forever).. lol. We finished our beer and left the place immediately.
Don’t want become gay, lol.
Call it a night
We returned to our hotel with great satisfaction because this night we have again added many stories under our belt. Can share our Chiang Mai ladyboy story to our grand child in future.
Finally, a proper sleep!
Where am I now?
Chiang Mai, Thailand.