I have been clubbing since 17. that’s when I was still underage.
How can I enter the premises when I was still underage? The answer is simple – my dad brought me 
The first time he tried to sneak me in was when I was 14, when my first puberty signs were showing, a.k.a the bulu).
Then how? failed lah of course. We laughed together and went back home. “Your bulu is not thick enough hahaah” my dad said.
I still remember the first drink I had—Tequila Pop, followed by few glasses of beer. Confident rise to roof top and girls looks prettier. I walked like I have 50 inches chest and 6 packs. Confident gao-gao I tell you.
Not only that, my dad also taught me the 5 Commandments in drinking (or rather, night life). I remember every single commandments and practise them until today. I am sharing with you today.
- Do not act like a jerk – You are in control of your emotion, not emotion control you.. If you did something wrong, do not use alcohol as excuses – blame yourself.
- Do not pick fights – You don’t be a tai lin ngong and go start a fight, you’ll never know what card that guy has in hand (literally). If fights happened (related to your friend, or just a brawl fights) avoid at all cost. Run bitch! runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!
- Only fight – If your woman was involved in fight (uiyoh, your woman very garang o lin si!), e.g. the guy slapped or punch the girl. You have to be act tough even if you’re balls is like shaking like a peanut. If the guy points a gun at you—you MUST NOT run (but don’t die la for the woman la… unless she’s your mum)
- Calm – remain calm at all time, this shows men’s masculinity and confidence, don’t shout like a girl when shit happens (run away like a women too).
- Drink slow – enjoy the process, this is not competition. You pay alcohol to make yourself miserable, what’s the purpose?
P/S Driving tip from uncle: You can drive fast, but only do it on familiar roads. But the best option is of course drive safe la..)
Me and Entet. Photo taken during 2004.
Now, let’s talk about my mum.
My mum also hang out with my dad all the time (only stopped at recent years, age finally caught up hahaaha). They used to be clubbing couple. My mum taught me a few tricks too, mainly on drinking ethics and what woman like in men (hehe). But the most valuable lesson I learn from her was How To Get Drunk—The cheap way. Here’s how:
- Drink beer with straw
- Sit under fan
Don’t play play, these two tips looks very simple. But I really saved a lot money with this method lo. This method really works.. hahaha. However, I only used this trick few times – real men drink beer with big gulps. Hell yeah
Have you learn anything new today? You have any tips to share with me mah? leave comment.
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