Travel

This is a blog post that I should have written one year ago, where I travelled around Australia. Writing this post brings back lots of fun memories.

This is the 7th day of Australia tour, and we were exploring Cairns.

We are heading to Undara, a volcano spot located at Australia inland — close to the desert.

We started driving at 2am, yes freaking midnight.

We relied on GPS device heavily because there’s no civilization around that area as we were told. To make things more exciting, the GPS is a bit malfunction. This is adventure, so we don’t careeeee.

We had to use to cello-tape to manually stick the GPS device on dashboard, another long story….

The journey started at a highway where there’s no street lamp at all. We can’t see our fingers when we switch off the headlamp, seriously… it’s so awesome!!

I was the designated driver for the day, and I was told the drive will take 5-6 hours.

While I was driving, I feel bored. Feeling a bit mischievous — I turn off the light, and say:

“You see!! no lights! wooohoooo!!”

“OIII OIIII !!!!! TURN ON THE LIGHT EHH !!!!!”, Chris shouted in panic. “Don’t play these kind of things” he said.

Suk arrrrrrr?

“我駕車，你定ehhh”, coming from a over-confident driver… that’s me

There’s no public toilet, and we had to release our extra liquid into the wild.

Why stand in front of the headlamp?

It’s too dark — we need the light to show where we are aiming at… we were avoiding potential snake attack. Worst case scenario is having 2 extra holes on our gugujiao.

Oh, I probably killed 10+ frogs along the journey… and avoided a dead boar and buffolo. Whole night I was singing Dead bodies everywhere by KoRn (Youtube).

The sun finally rises, and we realise how pretty our surrounding is.

Look at photo, you cannot see the end of the road… and it’s sooooooooooooo straight.

We would be driving 200km/h if there’s not hidden speed camera, but we didn’t take our chances. We already received a illegal parking ticket at Sydney.

There’s a movie about lorry driver murdering traveler on these Australian highway, and it is based on true story.

Goooood morning!!

Chester did his morning exercise on top of the car.

We finally arrived our destination after 5 hours of driving - Undara Lava Tubes.

“Err… where is that volcano oh?”

“Yalohhhh, not even a small hill along our journey, where is the lava?”

…. it turns out we’re visiting at lava which was formed at pre-history years. Hence, the name “Undara Lava Tubes“.

DIU NYA @#$%@#$@#$!!!!!!! (insert more curse… although unnecessary)

We should have understand the term before deciding to come -_-

According to the tour guide, this is the largest flow of lava from a single volcano in the world. The lava can probably cover whole Malaysia if my calculation is right.

BUT, I WANT TO LOOK AT REAL LAVA!!

“Sorry but there’s no such thing here”…

niama. waste my time only.

The boys get too bored, and we started slapping on each other’s gugujiao as entertainment.

… and the war started.

Every time we take photo, we have to cover our sensitive part because that is when our gugujiao is most vulnerable (two guys stand beside one another, and the hand is within reach…)

PS: This “entertainment” last until end of the trip.

On another note, I found one funny looking tree!

What do you think the tree looks like? Reply in the comments below…

“Ah Bing found a tree that looks like  _______, and I like it!”

I learnt lesson the hard way.. I forgot to protect my gugujiao while taking photo with this Sarawak Samseng..

You see the smile on the photo? I faked it, I was holding back my pain. Ngai sat, punya sakit…

Check out the related Australia Trip post here:

Tales of Four Virgins – Expedition to Sydney (Day 1)
Tales of Four Virgins – Expedition to Canberra (Day 2 Part One)
Tales of Four Virgins – Expedition to Canberra (Day 2 Part Two)
Tales of Four Virgins – Expedition to Sydney (Day 3)
Tales of Four Virgins – Expedition to Sydney (Day 4)
Tales of Four Virgins – Ventures to Chillagoe Caves

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This is day 3 of my Taiwan one week trip. Check out: Day 1, Day 2 and Day 3(a). This is Day 3(b). The post is too long, so I separated into 2 posts.

The earlier part of Day 3 is a bit mundane, all we done is see see look look, all at statues and landmark, included Taipei 101.

We especially miss Taipei 101, why? our favourite night club – The Lava Club, is situated there

Raymond planned today’s itinerary, he said there’s a place we MUST visit. We just follow laaa.. because non of us came prepared. hehehe.

We had to go to small alleys to reach this place.

“Whoaa… why got such place in the middle of alley. So cool”

The restaurant’s name is KANPAI. Kanpai as in 乾杯 in Chinese and Japanese kanji.

KANPAI is a BBQ restaurant, they are famous around Taipei area.

BUT this is not a normal BBQ restaurant — this restaurant is opened by Japanese beer company, ASAHI. (read more about KANPAI restaurant)

We were here for one reason though — kiss for 10 seconds and you get a plate of BBQ meat for free!

Condition is: You had to kiss lips-to-lips

You kiss, and get free food! very simple right?

Before entering this restaurant, we already have a solid idea of who kissing who. Hehehehe. We had so much fun discussing this topic. The problem is, all of us is lanjiao.

And guys (a.k.a. lanjiao) are not supposed to kiss each other. That is very wrong.

LUCKILY — the girls decided to join us. YAYYYYYY we don’t have to kiss guys anymore! We have chance to kiss with girls!!

(These were our fantasies, of course).

Boy kiss girls, that makes more sense, and the probability of it happening is much higher. BUT THAT IS NOT FUN.

So, back to boy+boy; girl+girl

Girl kiss girl lohhh weiiiii… turns us on!!

Right after they kissed, they use tissue to wiped their lips. Cis, so turn off lah. We thought they will progress to french kiss after kissing for 10 seconds.

Couldn’t blame them, they are cousins after all

Haih. This is hopeless.

We played rock-scissor-paper, and losers had to kiss. No girls are willing to kiss us, so pathetic!

Ah Zip (our tour guide) is the blue collar, and Ah Hock is in red. Look at Ah Hock, he kissed so passionately.

That is why the whole table goes “EWWWWWWWW…”

KANPAI restaurant serves Japanese style BBQ. I only had korean style BBQ — but never a Japanese style. This is a fun experience for all of us.

Kanpai serves fresh food too. The waiter helped us to pick all the best food because we had no idea what’s good what’s not. We told him we’re tourist and we allow him to make decision.

What’s the best thing I like about the restaurant?

THE AWESOME BEER.

Why is it so awesome?

First of all, it’s a draft beer. And the beer are well taken care of — they know the exact way to serve a beer (of course they do! Japanese beer company woh!)

• Serves in a 350ml mug to ensure the temperature is still cold while you finish. Beers tend of get warm in larger glass so this is perfect size
• The beer foam is thick, and it’s purposely done that way so the beer remains “carbonated”
• The foam is thick as cream, not bubbly
• It’s ASAHI

If you finished the first glass in one-go, they will refill you glass — for free.

Then, around 8:30pm, there’s another competition, you finish the beer you’re holding, and you’re entitled for another free refill.

That night I had 8-10 glasses of beer, couldn’t remember. I came out with 10% food and 90% beer filled tummy.

KANPAI even had a machine specially made for pouring beers… who doesn’t love that?

I am sold, totally.

I love beer, especially cold draft beers. Couldn’t get enough of these quality shit

冷えたビール!!!

Photographer couldn’t take photo properly. Everyone is drunk (except the girls, they scare fat wahh).

And guess what? our bills was RM1,000.

Despite the steep price, we all think the value is worth it because we had sooooooo much fun, and great food, great experience, great friends.. and great BEER (last one is my own opinion)

If they opened a branch here in KK, I’ll be a loyal customer, maybe also owner.

After the food, we went to night market to hunt more food. That place is called …

SHIT I FORGOT THE NAME OF THE PLACE.

Nevermind lahh.. it doesn’t matter. All we know is the night market is right beside a Taiwan university, we had so much fun looking at university girls.

We do many many stupid things again.. some are too explicit to share on this blog. When you are intoxicated, and “unlimited flow” of pretty young girls around you.. you tend to do funny (and stupid) things.

“Harlow 小姐 妳很美麗 喔喔喔喔喔喔喔喔～～～” some shit like that. This is only level 1 of our stupid things… highest level being is 5.

Some of us took some naughty photo while we were going back hotel. *ahemmm*

:p

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辣妹讓我們生活下去 沒有辣妹就沒有希望 辣妹我愛妳們
衝阿 壓呼~~ 阿囉哈得修~~ 超爽的~~ LAVA 有搞頭!!

This post contains slight adult material.

Did I get your attention? heh

No photos of naked ladies though, sorry to disappoint you. I don’t want to turn my blog into a porn site. What I am about to share is explicit than usual.

And also, there are many photos I cannot post up—what happens in the club, stays in the club. So, my experience sharing here is some how limited.

———

Enough talking, I am going to share my first experience in Taipei’s night club — TAIPEI LAVA CLUB.

We went to the dance floor before the drinks were served, and we approach the stage, and look up.

We can’t believe what we saw.

The chicks are wearing mini skirts and ultra-short pants while dancing on the stage, we were utterly wordless to see such amazing scenes (empasize). I do not have to elaborate more, I am sure you know what I am talking about.

/shake shake shake

When it turns midnight, the stage packed with even more hot dancing ladies (shirtless one) *hint hint*

The best is yet to come.

“台妹我們來了！我愛台妹，台妹愛我” — we have been saying this sentence since the day we book our flight. lol. It became our mantra.

It’s only first day at Taipei, and we’re already experiencing the highlight of our trip.

Our head had not stop turning left and right whole night. There’s always something for us to look at.

You know what? I almost didn’t join my buddies to night club because I was on a “30 days no alcohol challenge”

I failed obviously. 7 days to complete that challenge ^^;

Barely legal… seriously.

All of us has a bit of “incident/story” with some of them, but that’s another story. You can only listen to the stories when you yum-char with me, ehehehe.

One of us get really really really lucky that night *ahem* no names allowed.

So, what’s the different between Malaysia night club and Taipei night club?

Average bra cup size: A – No comment. I will always compare this to Aussie chicks, average Size D. Always. Cup C and above is rare to find – once spotted we go berserk. Hahaha.

They like gwai lou – Caucasians have higher percentage of scoring Taiwanese ladies in night clubs. From my observation.

NT$3,000 to 包廂 (reserve table) and free flow – My average spending in night club is RM100-RM200 per night. In Taipei, I can have free flow for RM50 (NT$3,000 = RM300) SHITTTTT!!! If they open a similar business here in Malaysia, they sure pukkai…

On top of that. With RM50 paid, I also can enjoy…

Looking at lots of 正妹 – all professional make up artist. I don’t care how they look like when they remove their make up. Most importantly is to run away they remove their make up!

Strip dance competition – they strip off everything, including bra! Our eyes almost pop-out from eye socket. They dance while covering their nipples with hand only. This is more exciting than a real strip club.

男公關 (PR) – Before hitting clubs, you make your reservations through PR, and they would do the hassles of making sure you have your drinks and table, also have fun, by asking “要妹妹陪嗎？” Why can’t we have these position at Malaysia? By the way, all their PR are extremely good looking.

Clubs close at 4am – Most of the time the real party only starts at 2am. Turning on the lights at 4am is perfect. Why laaa our Malaysia clubs have to close at 2am

We decided to migrate to Taiwan to become citizen – That is what we concluded after we saw the ladies on stage took off their bras.

We shouted like cavemen. Hehehe

The ladies love YSLo! He is like the Wayne Rooney of our team. I am more like the player that sits on bench and look at live action on the scene.

I don’t know who took this photo, but seems like I am commanding Entutson to control me. I am losing control — too many pretty chicks. I cannot control myself.

These videos are taken from LAVA NIGHT CLUB.

Note: Explicit material. Very chi gek.

Would you like to go Taiwan night club after reading this post? I want to hear from you

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我在台北的第三天！

Our tour guide decided to bring us to 中正国父紀念館 and 台北101.

中正国父紀念館 is damn huge man! The whole huge area is build to remember only one person — 国父. He must have balls of steels. I respect that.

I was surprised to see a magnificent building in middle of Taipei city.. occupying a large area at the same time.

Ahh, not Taiwan city, but Taiwan area. Wait, the city is so huge that I should call it area. Hold on, wait, maybe I should say the city is as huge as several areas interconnected.

Damn, only silly people from small town talks like that! The size of Taipei city is intimidating. Makes me feel like I came from kampung.

When the place is so huge and there’s really nothing to look at. We need to entertain ourselves — Entutson and me played rock scissor paper. Winner ascend one stair at a time. I am tad taller so I ascended 3 stairs every round I won.

If my math serves me right, Every 3 rounds Entutson won, I only win 1 round..

I suck.

(Entutson: Entet + Edison)

Round One – FIGHT!

YSLo vs Bing

Raymond vs Kokye

Childhood memories, hehehe. My children in future will think that his dad is lame.

I forgot who is this. But that’s not the main point. Look at Kok Ye..

…Kok Ye always pose inappropriately..

What are you trying to do, hmmm?

We decided to walk from the 紀念館 to Taipei 101. Looks like within walking distance but we were wrong,

“Nehhh! can see Taipei 101 liao. Let’s walk there laa..”

You can see Taipei 101 from almost every corner of Taipei, okay (roll eye)… Hahaha.

We walked a long distance, and decided to take a rest at a park. Once again I don’t remember what’s the name of the park. Another museum or some sort. In front of the building there are heaps of people taking photos and, unleashing their dogs and let them run around.

There were a pair of Golden retriever attracted to each other, and dragged respective owner to each other. Damn, I want to meet a girl like that for once in my life too.

I am surprised the dogs are well tamed, and always walk next to their master (duhhh). We don’t always see this in Malaysia because we’re Islamic country? correct me if I am wrong. Islamics pantang pigs and dogs, that is why dogs were leashed to prevent them to get close to islamics, which is disrespectful to one’s culture.

We took 3 days and 2 nights to reach to this building.

Yay, Taipei 101!

This place is jammed pack with travelers.

See I told you, you can almost see Taipei 101 from every corner of Taipei.

We were given a Buy 1 Free 1 coupon. What coupon is it?

Float.

Normally, you put a scoop of ice cream on top of root beer, normally known as float. This originates from A&W as we all know it. However, the Taiwanese decided to use real beer instead.

REAL BEER + ICE CREAM = TAIWAN FLOAT

How does it taste like?

Mehhh — the beer taste like beer, the ice cream tastes like ice cream. Nothing surprising. Not even special.

Looking at the highest part of Taipei 101.

I am standing on the highest level that visitors were allowed to visit, which is level 91. The highest platform is only accesible to public if the weather is good.

They secured the grill so perfectly, this prevents people like Kok Ye climbing out…

Why?

Kok Ye loves to do funny things at inappropriate place and time..

This group photo can easily become an album cover.. Super Junior, SNSD or something.

“Sorry sorry sorry….”

“Geee… gee… geee… beh beh beh beh…”

Oh yes, I am releasing  my own Twitter Guide

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