This is Day 1 at Guangzhou, China. Check out the rest of the posts here.
Short version: I travelled to Guangzhou alone because I can.
Long version: The world is so big, I cannot afford to waste my time "jailed" in this place for too long. Time is running out and I have to see as many part of the world as possible before bigger commitments ahead. So I booked a return flight to China, to explore the unknown part of the world.
The main reason I am at Guangzhou is for the Canton Fair. It’s the biggest import and export exhibition in China, probably in the world too. This is where the trend setters meet with biggest manufacturer in China. Whatever you see here might be the next big trend next year. I am here to see what can I do for my business.
These are random shits I encountered on first day
Random Shit #1
You will meet annoying people who speaks loudly beside you in every flight to China. It’s true. They even talk about which health spa they are going, girls are pretty and what service they enjoyed the most. Then 2 minutes later they talk about their children performance at school. LOL.
Random Shit #2
I almost missed my flight because I met a high school friend at boarding gate. We exchanged stories until forgot to look at watch. It’s been awhile since I sprint 100meter. Took me 10 seconds.
Random Shit #3
People who do not hold China passport is known as "alien".
Random Shit #4
Weather is extremely bad during my departure night. I received "warning" weather forecast. A friend told me, "what’s the point of an adventure if you cancel flight because of weather?"
Random Shit #5
Illegal taxi fare costs me RMB350 to my hotel. Later only I know that it takes less than RMB70.. RMB3 if you take train. We ran across over highway and climbed a fence. Adventure started right after I disembark from plane. A friend says, "You are not in China until you get cheated once by a Chinese".
Random Shit #6
"Hey brother, any places I should visit during my trip here at Guangzhou?" I talked to taxi driver Cantonese.
"I bring you to find girls! range from RMB400 to RMB900! many many times in a night! All girls came from Dong Guan, confirm pretty!"
…. I am speechless. I meant to ask him must-see places, not red-light districts!
Random Shit #7
They have LED lights in almost every building. I guess LED lights are cheap here.
Random Shit #8
Took 30 minutes to find my hotel. It’s a small and dirty sex hotel. "Here comes the adventure… great start." I told myself.
Random Shit #9
I moved my luggage into room, and realised this wasn’t the room I saw when I book my room online. I originally booked for two single bed room (reason: rate for double room is cheaper than single bed).
"Shit lo. Just now kena conned by taxi. Now even hotel also conned me!" I said.
"Don’t care la. I want to sleep first. I am tired."
/30 minutes later.
Someone is attempting to come into my room.
"Wahhh!! SO BAD LUCK MEH ME?! I just moved in less than 1 hour, these China people wanted to rob me already!? Cannot wait tomorrow only rob me meh!?"
Luckily the door is locked from inside. The door *beep* few times, and I decided wake up and see what’s going on.
It’s a couple who wanted to use this room for a quickie (hamsap hamsap la). I see the pattern also know liao, both looked so horny.
"YOU REN AHHH!!" I said. (means someone’s inside this room)
"Ahhh! DUI BU QI!" they apologized and walked away. Soon, receptionist called and I realised I moved into wrong room. I am supposed to be at room 310.
I moved to that room.
This is Room 301
This is Room 310
This room looks much comfortable! And so much cleaner than the previous room. I feel geli even when I lay on the bed, wondering how many billions of little sperms swam in these bed sheets before. Yuck.
Random Shit #10
There are no water, fridge or closet in the room. I walked to receptionist to buy a bottle of water. She asks, "Any mosquito in your room? You can light on the mosquito repellent, here’s the lighter."
Damn. All the rooms are air conditioned. Do China men really lit this inside a room? I don’t want to die suffocating.
What a way to start my China trip! So many more stories to share for the rest of the week. Join my email newsletter to receive more upcoming posts – all straight to your inbox.